Socialization is the process of interacting with others around us, and that interaction can be positive, negative, or neutral. A lot of learning happens when we socialize. Rogers’ Dr. Kristin Miles, PsyD, inpatient psychologist, explains why it’s important and how to support children as they grow.
What is socialization and when does it begin?
The moment we’re born, we begin engaging with the people around us. We start to learn about the world from the social experiences we have which become more and more complex. Think of middle school years. Friends start testing limits and children need to decide, based on their values and experiences thus far, how they’re going to respond to pressures while also trying to predict how their peers might be responding to them. These years typically need a lot more guidance, yet adolescents tend to be wired to push some of that away. As adults, socialization changes again as we navigate friendships, work relationships, and other families, with a lot of dynamics at play.
Where does socialization happen?
Socialization can happen nearly anywhere—home, school, work, the grocery store, a park, or on a hike. It can also happen virtually. Since 2020 and the isolation we experienced during the pandemic, we’ve learned how to better use technology to increase our interactions. That doesn’t come without some drawbacks, new challenges, and sometimes, limitations.
Why is socialization important?
Socialization is a very important part of the human experience. We’re social beings and made for connection. If you go way back in history, humans had little protection from predators on their own. By forming connections and working together, their chances of survival increased. Social connection had a lot to do with that success. Today, it’s more about our emotional health than our physical ability to survive.
Some skills needed for positive interactions and learned over time include:
- Reading social cues, which help a person know what others want and their intentions.
- Reading non-verbal cues that might suggest things like, you’re too close, too loud or too quiet, or that someone is feeling uncomfortable with what you’re doing or saying, and they want to end a conversation.
- Sharing a conversation, meaning that you don’t just talk about yourself and never ask about the other person, as well as more nuanced things, like using polite words, validating someone else’s emotion or experience, finding the middle ground when you might disagree, and being assertive while not being overly pushy.
Five ways we benefit from socialization:
- Expands our support system.
- Provides a sense of belonging, purpose, and direction.
- Encourages us to use our strengths to help others navigate challenges and vice versa.
- Teaches how to interact with others in ways that benefit both ourselves and our community, in whatever way that’s defined.
- Creates a safe space to make mistakes and learn how to repair relationships.
Research supports the idea that when a person is feeling depressed and struggling, helping others can naturally improve their mood.
How is a person impacted by a lack of socialization?
Lack of socialization is considered isolation, and can be especially harmful during childhood and adolescence by:
- Limiting their ability to connect, learn, and grow.
- Reducing the chances of feeling like they belong.
- Reinforcing negative beliefs about themselves or what they fear may happen while socializing.
- Putting them at a greater disadvantage of knowing how to navigate the world around them because they won’t understand social cues.
Many people tend to isolate when they’re struggling with their mood and have anxiety or depression. Sometimes being with others feels too overwhelming or scary. While this makes sense from a comfort perspective, it’s not helpful for a person’s mental health and can lead to more intense symptoms, including panic attacks. The solution is actually socialization!
How can a parent or caregiver support a child’s socialization?
Socialization is best when starting from a young age. Kids can get natural feedback in safe ways from family and friends who understand that they sometimes need guidance.
I have four recommendations for how parents and caregivers can support a child’s socialization:
- Provide a safe space and kind feedback in as non-shameful of a way as possible. When someone feels shame, they’re likely to pull back and isolate rather than try again with new skills.
- Allow your child to share their experience and feelings about an interaction without telling them that their perception is wrong. Help them create a sense of owning their experience.
- Offer some suggestions about the other person’s perspective or a different approach so they can learn and grow.
- Remember that adolescence, in particular, is a really difficult time of change. They will make mistakes and have strong emotions. Keeping that in mind will help you as the caregiver become less easily frustrated.
When should I be concerned about my child’s socialization?
Everyone’s comfort level with socialization may be different, so it’s really about changes to a child’s usual pattern. When they’re doing less than normal for an extended period, it may be time to ask about what’s going on and what might be helpful to them. They may need some support getting back into social situations after struggling for a little while. Doing this in groups with people they’re most comfortable with to start, then expanding to larger settings over time can be helpful. Allowing space between social situations to recharge may be necessary. Additionally, keeping those interactions to reasonable time limits may be needed to keep a child from falling back into isolation which is difficult to get out of again.
Some kids naturally struggle with some of the skills needed to engage in social experiences. There are social skills classes available for people who may need some extra support. It’s similar to someone who struggles in math and needs a tutor. I recommend talking to a school counselor or a child’s therapist if they have one.
It can also be helpful to teach kids who struggle to ask more questions. That can help them fill in some of the confusing parts of social experiences when they’re unaware and avoid situations that could lead to embarrassment.
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Part of our summer series, Sunny Days, Healthy Minds
Summer is right around the corner, and there’s never been a better time to prioritize mental health! Rogers is proud to introduce you to eight new offerings designed to fit busy summer schedules and address a variety of mental health concerns – without interfering with vacations and other beloved summer activities. Click here to learn more.
