Avoidance is a double-edged sword. While it can keep us safe from danger, it can also reinforce ineffective coping methods, leading to a lack of motivation, feelings of depression and anxiety, and harmful behaviors. It can be challenging to know when avoidance is a helpful or harmful behavior.
Rogers Behavioral Health’s Allyson Melcher, LPC-MHSP, NCC, therapist at Rogers in Nashville, explores how avoidance influences our mental health and why increasing awareness is important for our well-being.
What is avoidance as a means of coping with mental health challenges?
Mental health struggles often feel as though they’re growing and unmanageable. We feel out of control, anxious, depressed, scared, and overwhelmed. In these moments, we often respond using avoidance coping.
Avoidance as a coping method is more than procrastinating. It’s a way to escape people, places, thoughts, and feelings. Avoidance fuels our mental health challenges and often leads to feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness toward recovery.
Additionally, avoidance coping is one sign of worsening mental health. Avoidance begins slowly and silently, and progresses to disconnecting from most people, places, and activities that are routine, enjoyable, and valued. Avoidance creates a cycle that we often struggle to break.
What does avoidance look like?
Everyone engages in avoidance differently. It’s important to remember that the urge to avoid may often lead to:
- Increased depression or anxiety, which may cause excessive sleeping (12+ hours daily)
- Feelings of sadness, grief, loneliness, and despair, which may result in using illicit substances to cope
- Negative self-talk, thoughts, low self-esteem or self-worth leading to neglected hygiene, work, school, and household chores
- Lack of motivation or energy, feeling apathetic, or increased social anxiety, which results in avoiding family, friends, and social events
Why do people engage in avoidance coping?
People engage in avoidance for different reasons. Our emotions can often be overwhelming, intense, and difficult to identify and express. In these moments of turmoil, we often find it easier to engage in avoidance to dodge and evade our own thoughts and feelings.
Why is avoidance problematic?
Avoidance is an unhelpful coping strategy because it fuels mental health struggles and impacts our ability to function in daily life. Avoidance creates a cycle of evading our thoughts, feelings, and stressors. It’s easy to get stuck in this cycle. When we don’t effectively cope, process, and express our thoughts and feelings, they get bottled up and eventually spill out, which may look like speaking impulsively or engaging in regrettable behaviors.
How can a person manage the urge to avoid?
Repeatedly engaging in avoidance behaviors creates the urge to sustain and consistently engage in these behaviors. The urge to avoid often feels powerful and challenging to resist. It may feel like an uphill battle to resist avoidance, yet it’s possible with consistency and perseverance.
I recommend several strategies, including:
- Increase awareness of how often you engage in avoidance behaviors
- Understand the impact on everyday life and mental well-being
- Identify the stressors, emotions, and events that are feeding avoidance
- Learn and practice effective coping skills and healthy behaviors
What are alternatives to avoidance as a means of coping?
Let’s remember that everyone engages in avoidance differently and has different stressors which influence their urge to avoid. There are many methods of actively coping with our avoidance triggers, including:
- Engage in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or praying
- Incorporate healthy exercise, such as yoga, running, walking, and going to the gym
- Practice deep breathing exercises, such as box breathing and belly breathing
- Reach out to a loved one or friend for support
Rogers offers mental health treatment
Life can feel overwhelming when you’re struggling with your mental health. Help and healing are within reach.
When you’re ready, call 833-308-5887 for a free and confidential screening.
