5 strategies to manage end-of-summer anxiety

Why do kids experience end-of-summer anxiety?

It’s normal for kids of all ages to feel nervous ahead of a major transition. The end of summer is exactly that—a big transition for kids and teens! There are changes in their daily routines, like when they wake up and go to bed, shifts in time spent with family members or friends, and expectations with homework, test-taking, and extra-curriculars being added back in.

Feeling nervous in anticipation of a new school year is common. If this is something your child struggles with, they’re not alone.

What can that look like in young children vs adolescents?

It’s important to remember that children express anxiety differently as they get older.

Young children

Young children may not always be able to share their worries in words and may instead express fears through their behaviors.

That may look like:

• Crying when the end of summer is mentioned
• Having tantrums or freezing when asked to do something related to school
• Becoming clingy with family members

Older children

Older children may be able to more easily talk about their worries. Look for “what-if” statements such as, “What if I don’t like my new teacher?”

Adolescents

In adolescents, anxiety can look like avoiding the topic of school altogether or masking end-of-summer fears with negative comments such as, “I just don’t get why I have to go to school. I’m never going to use most of this in real life.”

Remember that at all ages, anxiety may not always “look” like anxiety. Sometimes, irritability about a certain topic can be a sign of anxiety. Avoidance is typically a good indicator of anxiety, which could include trying not to talk about, think about, or engage with the anxiety-producing situation.

What are strategies for parents to help ease the anxiety?

There are several things that parents can do to help children of all ages with end-of-summer anxiety:

1. Ask your child how they’re feeling about going back to school and if there’s any part of it that makes them feel nervous

Discussing it is perhaps the most important thing to do.

2. Try to validate their feelings rather than dismiss them

This can look like saying, “I’m hearing you’re nervous about having lots of homework again. It makes sense that you feel that way about a big change.” While validation doesn’t solve or remove the problem, it can make your child feel heard and connected to you, which increases their willingness to face challenges.

3. Ask whether there’s anything about the return to school that excites them

Seeing friends again, resuming sports and clubs, or getting back into a favorite subject are common positives of returning to school.

4. Talk through what the transition will look like

Have conversations with your child in advance about expectations surrounding bedtimes, wake-up times, and when they should have their school bag packed or their outfits picked out. For younger children, assisting them through these tasks can be helpful, as can practicing getting ready in advance.

5. Involve children of all ages in the back-to-school process

Consider shopping together for school supplies (choosing ones they prefer can increase their excitement for the first day!) or going to the school building to register for classes.

Something you can do far in advance is to help your child maintain good habits over the summer. This will make the transition to school less drastic.

That can look like:

• Sticking to a consistent sleep-wake routine, even if that is a bit different than during the school year
• Participating in educational clubs or activities to keep the learning going over the summer
• Keeping up with expectations of chores or housework in the absence of schoolwork
• Enrolling your child in light tutoring to keep up good study habits

How can parents differentiate between normal back-to-school jitters and more serious anxiety?

The difference between “normal” anxiety and more serious anxiety is a matter of how intense, long-lasting, and life-interfering the anxiety becomes. If your child feels anxious but it doesn’t affect their choices, it’s likely not as severe. “Normal” anxiety will usually increase as the first day of school gets closer and go away or reduce soon afterward.

Anxiety may be more serious if your child:

• Becomes more withdrawn from you, family members, or their friends
• Decreases their participation in activities they usually enjoy
• Appears preoccupied with their anxiety throughout the day and is not easily redirected to focus on other conversations or activities
• Isn’t easily comforted regarding their concerns about school
• Shows signs their anxiety begins to “spread” to new topics
• Changes sleep, eating, or exercise habits drastically
• Avoids participating in conversations and activities related to end-of-summer and back-to-school

What can parents do if they suspect it’s not typical jitters?

If your child’s end-of-summer anxiety seems more intense or long-lasting than what is typical for them, it’s important to:

• Let them know that you notice.
• Ask them what they feel anxious about.
• Try the strategies mentioned above.

However, if you feel your child needs more support in making the transition back to school, seek assistance from a counselor or therapist.

By Sarah R. Lee, PhD, supervising psychologist for OCD and Anxiety Residential Care for Children, and OCD, Anxiety and Depression Residential Care for Young Adults

Rogers offers anxiety treatment for children

Seeing your child struggle can be one of the hardest things as a parent. It’s natural to feel scared and alone. We’re here to support your child and family with compassionate care and treatment that works.

To get started with a free, confidential screening, call 833-308-5887.

Part of our back-to-school series, Fresh Starts for School Smarts

Looking for more back-to-school tips?  Click here for additional resources from our experts.