Picture this: It’s a typical and chaotic weekday evening. Kids are hunched over their homework while worrying about their relationships at school. Parents and caregivers are juggling work emails, prepping dinner, and stewing about a tense conversation with a colleague from earlier in the day. Sound familiar?
Stress is common, but it doesn’t have to define your family life. Everyday tension can weigh heavily on children and adults alike, but small, intentional habits can benefit everyone’s well-being.
In this final blog in our series, Family Foundations: How to Build a Stronger, Healthier Home, Rogers Behavioral Health’s Nicholas Mahoney, DO, psychiatrist and program medical director of OCD, Anxiety, and Depression Adult Residential Care, shares insights on:
- What defines a healthy vs unhealthy family.
- Three key habits that strengthen families.
- How Rogers partners with families to support emotional well-being.
How would you define a healthy family vs an unhealthy one?
There are several key differences between a healthy and unhealthy family.
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How does an “unhealthy” family affect its members?
When family members feel like they can’t share their emotions, they can build up over time, causing distress. Emotions within a family are also highly contagious, easily rippling through the household and creating a tense environment for everyone.
Additionally, poorly defined rules and expectations can affect family dynamics. For example, if chores are unclear or inconsistently enforced, kids can feel frustrated, which can spill over to the parents or caregivers.
Unhealthy patterns can lead to escalating tension between family members. Over time, emotional detachment can create physical isolation. This separation not only adds to the underlying problem, but it also makes it more challenging to address it.
What are characteristics of a healthy family?
Healthy families have three things in common. They:
- Allow a safe and secure space to talk. A non-judgmental and respectful environment can help others feel comfortable sharing how they’re feeling and what they may be struggling with.
Tips for how to do this:
- Practice active listening by giving full attention to what the other person is saying, asking open-ended questions, and reflecting on what is being said. Conversations can start with questions as simple as, “How are you feeling?” or “What’s on your mind?”
- Keep the focus on the conversation by using a quiet environment where everyone feels comfortable and is free from distraction.
- Set healthy family boundaries. Rules should be well-defined and age appropriate. They should be consistently enforced, and the consequences should be fitting for the action.
Tips for how to do this:
- When making a rule, provide clear information on the specific expectations, what to expect if the rule is not followed, and an explanation of why the rule is helpful or needed.
- Forgive. We all make mistakes. Inappropriate behavior leads to consequences and a healthy family doesn’t hold grudges. Mistakes should also be approached as a learning experience for a person to learn and grow.
Tips for how to do this:
- When a rule is not followed, talk through the situation. Discuss specific examples where the behavior defied the rule or expectation. Promote open communication for the person to brainstorm what they could do differently the next time a similar situation arises.
- The consequence should be enforced consistently each time the rule is not followed. There may be difficult emotions, such as anger or frustration. However, by practicing forgiveness, it helps everyone move forward and reinforces that the situation doesn’t change the bond between those involved.
What would you say to a parent or caregiver who wants to make change but feels stuck or overwhelmed?
If someone is feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, you’re not alone. Many feel the same way. In many situations, my recommendations are not the easiest to follow. Also, when certain habits become the norm, it can be hard to break the cycle. It can be helpful to reach out to a mental health professional.
The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. Recognizing that there are issues opens the door for changes to occur. In the same way bad habits can form, the repeated practice of healthy behavioral changes will gradually create a new dynamic. Just remember, change takes time and consistency. Try to appreciate the small changes that are being made in the process.
Building healthy families at Rogers
At Rogers, we understand the important role families play in supporting each member’s mental health. That’s why we work hard to incorporate family members as part of the treatment process. Through family sessions, the person receiving treatment and their loved ones along with a member of the clinical team come together to build insight into the unhealthy patterns, practice effective communication, and discuss strategies to help develop new, healthy habits.
Our compassionate care teams teach families how to be more emotionally healthy and by working together, we help families create a stronger foundation for lasting well-being.
In my time working at Rogers, I’ve seen relationships within families develop, repair, and strengthen through our commitment to this work. I’ve witnessed changes behave like a domino effect of not just improving the mental health of the person receiving our care but also producing healing in the lives of the other family members.
How Rogers can help
Every person – and family – has the potential to grow stronger. If you’re feeling stuck, you’re not alone. Reach out to Rogers Behavioral Health to learn how we can support your journey toward a full and connected life.
Rogers offers “Parenting with Purpose,” a new weekly outpatient group offered virtually in Wisconsin, where parents can gain skills to help manage stress, mental health concerns, and much more. Call 833-603-0212 for more information.
Part of our summer series, Sunny Days, Healthy Minds
