‘I’ve done so many things I never thought I would be able to do’: Former St. Paul and Brown Deer patient says treatment saved her life

01/09/25 12:00:pm

Zoë shares how compassionate care gave her the confidence to live the life she never thought she would.

“I first came to Rogers adolescent PHP at 17 in Minnesota for help with my self-harm, depression, and social anxiety. In my head, it was just something I was going to do and be done with, but it was so much more than that.

In PHP, I met so many amazing kids and staff who have honestly changed my life. My behavior specialist, in particular, was amazing. She was very good at her job, but she was also amazing at making me feel like more than just a patient. She helped me with my college applications and recommended Duluth. We shared the same music taste, and I even ended up getting lyrics tattooed in her handwriting after I left. I think that was the first time in my life that I felt truly understood, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that.

Even though I was learning lots of new coping strategies, other things in my life were making my self-harm more severe. That’s when my treatment team decided it would be best for me to go to residential treatment in Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I was really scared to be living in a new state, but it was so worth it. The staff and patients there were incredible, and I’ve made many lifelong friends. Experiential therapy was an amazing experience, and I’m so grateful for it (I hope it will come to Minnesota in the future).

I ended up in inpatient for two weeks, and I seriously don’t think I’d be alive without it. When I was ready to leave, I went back to PHP in Minnesota and I was lucky enough to have the same behavior specialist. I still had a lot of hard work to do, but for the first time in many years, I truly felt happy. I was very scared to leave, having been in treatment for almost nine months, but my team assured me that I was ready, and I was.

I graduated from PHP and was able to finish my last trimester of senior year in person. At first it was hard, but I knew I could do it. Now, I am in my first year of college in Duluth, I’m living in a dorm, and I’ve done so many things I never thought I would be able to do. I never thought I would live to be an adult, but I did it.

I am majoring in art and psychology and I’m hoping to become an experiential therapist at Rogers in the future so I can help kids like me (shoutout to my experiential therapist at Brown Deer for inspiring me).

I never thought I would feel safe with myself, let alone happy, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life. Rogers and the people in it 100% saved my life multiple times and I will forever be grateful for them and the things I learned at Rogers.”

Melissa Alvin was Zoë’s experiential therapist in Brown Deer.

“I am so overwhelmed by this. Working with Zoë was such a privilege. Zoë loved drawing snails, which is so fitting. I feel like Zoë was always the snail– slowly sliding across the pavement with a shell protecting them, making sure to steer clear of foot traffic, all the while slowly transforming into a beautiful caterpillar as they creeped along. Zoë is an artist, and it was by connecting to their treatment through art that they were able to transform. Hearing this from Zoë continues to inspire me to be the most authentic version of myself when I’m working with my residents. Adolescents can see right through fakeness or a false personality. They really want to know that the person they’re working with is just as human as they are, making mistakes along the way. It is through this realness that I have found I can make the largest impact, and encouraging my adolescent residents to be equally as authentic as they transition into adulthood. The most important thing I learned from working with Zoë is that sometimes your quietest patients are the ones gaining the most from their time with you. Zoë expressed VERY few words but was consistently thoughtful and insightful. I wasn’t sure if our time together was impactful, but now I’m confident it was exactly what Zoë needed.”